gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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