Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
