I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
