How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
