Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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