There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize