the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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