there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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