All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
