I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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