if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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