Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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