OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
