You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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