Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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