Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
