im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
