can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize