ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
