so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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