using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
