dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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