The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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