I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
