Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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