Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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