I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize