BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
