I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
