He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
