im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
