have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
