Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize