I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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