You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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