Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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