dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize