My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
