i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
