Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Randomize
