i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
