we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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