He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
