That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she looked like the before picture.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize