just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
