I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
