I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize