FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Even my vagina gasped.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
