We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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