don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
