After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize