I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
