She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
