it wasn't lemon gatorade
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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