dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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