just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
