TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
