after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
