...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Alive.
So much puke
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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