It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
