hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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