I want to stick my p in your. b.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
